"What are you talking about?" I responded carelessly as I ate some more chicken while in half kneel and half squat leaning against the wall. Still standing next to me Jacob excitingly whispered "Man they snuck somone from a few miles away." "What?" I inquired. "Yeah, from some familiy with the last name Judas" "It's probably just Peter" I interupted "They are always sneaking him around so the high priest can't find him"
"Look, I don't know the full story" Jacob went on "But apparently Ananias healed him. I guess he was blind. Hopefully, he'll want to talk about it."
"Yeah that should be interesting." I responded, nonchalantly brushing off his excitement. "Man I just love getting together as much as we can, it's been difficult lately. It just seems like people aren't as interested in Jesus' message like when my father was alive." Jacob resounded "Yeah, I know what you mean, but it's been like 36 years man...that was a long time ago"
I interrupted, probably much ruder than I normally would, even for Jacob "YEAH! Well my dad was just murdered a year ago....and he believed in a way of life. NOT SOME HISTORY LESSON MAN! I am not about to give up the message my dad died for, so we can just look like every other religion in this city!"
I met Jesus when I was about 12. Before my dad died he did some work with him while they were both carpenters. I remember at that time how my dad seemed to be changing. The hard man I once knew. I mean I guess it's not like he was that bad, when I was young in Nazerath, kids just weren't quite adult enough to be given any significant attention.
But yeah, I remember he seemed to be changing. He would come home and start giving me these huge bear hugs and he would talk to my mom about this man, Jesus, that he met at work and how they started eating lunch in the same area at the job site. This guy would make him laugh like no other person he met. He said he felt like he had known this guy forever.
They had similar upbringings and were born in the same town. This was a big deal for them. The rare boys who survived those few birth years shared a bond. I remember because my dad would sometimes go on a political rampage about what happens when religion and politics mix. You see there was a king at that time, I can't remember his name; but the boys that had been born in those few years were killed because of some rumor he heard about the Christ being born around the same time. The king was afraid because the rumor followed, that people would worship this Christ and he would establish a kingdom like no other. He had no idea.
In any case, before his life started changing. My dad, in the rare times he talked about it, would talk in such a dark manner, with what seemed to be a hidden malice for a God that would allow babies to be slaughtered for some selfish agenda.
All that bitterness began to change when he met Jesus. We didn't talk much about God at that time except when we had to go to synagogue. My dad said that it was tradition, and any proud Jewish man would continue to go even if he didn't feel like it. Well after working with Jesus for a few years, Jesus and his family moved. Probably about 5 or 7 years after that we heard all the reports about Jesus being a Prophet and the miracles he performed. It was funny, because my dad got so excited and would always say that he knew there was something different about that guy. My dad wasn't the same after he met Jesus, but when he found out he was the Messiah he knew it was true and that just sent his heart to a whole new place.
Jesus found him again at some point and my dad said that it was like they had never parted, they picked up right where they left off. He would always tease Jesus about the way people would blow his image up like he was "sooo" mystical. I sometimes wonder if my dad really knew who Jesus was at that time, I mean really know, you know? You could sometimes here my dad chuckle and with his voice drifting off say 'Jesus is just a rough neck carpenter like me, don't they get it. That's why he is the Messiah, not because of the miracles but because of the person he is.'
Yeah, my dad loved that man and their relationship only grew deeper. Jesus was crucified about two and half years after they reunited. After his crucifiction my dad changed from what some would say "just a follower of Jesus" to this all out freedom fighter. He would say things like the only answer to this diminshing world is unconditional love and violent peace. He would talk a lot about the fact that Jesus didn't come to bring a kingdom as much as he made us aware of the kingdom that we born to live in.
Finally, I remember dad looking at me when I was about 22 and saying "Son, if the cross was good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me, and its good enough for you. I would only be so honored to die like Jesus did. But Son...I want to tell you, that the only thing greater than dying for freedom, is living for freedom." And living for freedom we did.
My dad lived a good life. He taught me the greatest wisdom was founded in guarding your love for God. He is the greatest man I know, because of Jesus.
About a year and half ago his life was taken by that bastard. When I see that man, I just don't know if I can be so loving and forgiving. I remeber when I sat in front of my father's dismembered, lifeless body, I was thinking, "...father I know that Jesus forgives and God forgets, but I am neither God nor Jesus...I don't know how to forgive this man that took you from me."
My father was counseling some young priests who had fallen away from their priesthood and were excommunicated in Jerusalem.
You see, Jerusalem was one of the most dangerous places for anyone who identified himself with the brotherhood of Jesus. Most of the rare times that we got together in that city, it was usually underground in the catacomb dwellings. But these priests were in so much condemnation over being excommunicated that they started living like drunks. Feeding off anything the world had to offer in ordered to ease their suffering hearts. My dad said that people who go through something like that, figure that they are going to hades anyway, now that they are excommunicated, why not enjoy it while they go there. My dad's heart seemed to break in a special place for these people. He too was devout to the priesthood when he was younger. When my dad went out to find these 7 or so priests in the streets, he some how managed to gather them all in one barn for about 3 days. We still don't know how he pulled that one off by himself.
While sharing the love of Christ to them and how his grace has made us free from the law of sin and death, an informant apparantly gave their location away to the high priest. Well...as you could imagine everything took a dangerously expected turn. The high priest dispatched his greatest "Christian" asassin. That's what they started calling us for short...Christians. We were more of a family, and we couldn't stand labels. It was their way of putting us in their box. It was their way of limiting who we really were; the greatest threat that their scheming realities ever came across. Yeah, well anyway, it was that asassin that killed my father. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. He just took him from me....oh yeah, and get this - he supposedly rejoiced about it because according to him, he was doing the will of Almighty God. How sick is that? This evil man is well respected by the high priest, he apparently went to the best seminary, and is now deceiving and murdering our brothers in hidden ambushes. He catches them in his manipulating snares and ends their mission for freedom.
That sick bastard tore our family apart! Someone needs to stop him! He better hope he doesn't come across my path with those lies of his. I would be the last "Christian" he would come across, I can tell you that right now! Someone needs to put an end to his destruction! He has hurt enough of the the brothers and sisters of Christ and if someone doesn't do something real soon I swear I am gonna......
"Hey you want this last of the chicken?"...."Hey Man! Do you want this last of the chicken" Jacob shook me out of my minds tranceful thought of the past. "Oh, um, no...no thanks man...and you know...I'm sorry for snappin' at you earlier"
"Don't, worry..."
"No, no, that was wrong of me. You don't deserve that. I am just battling a lot right now with forgiveness. I just want to be free to love...even my enemies."
Jacob compassionately put his right arm over my shoulder "Look, none of us have it together. You know we always say that. You know as well as I, that every person in this room is the least qualified to live in and share about freedom, but the ironic thing is, that's what makes us so qualified. Remember, your struggle to forgive only proves why you need Jesus even more. Don't let the enemy trick you into condemnation. You have the ability to forgive, because you admit you don't have the ability to forgive. Remember, the weak will be made strong and the last will be first. You are a great man, and....your dad...and your Father in heaven is proud of you."
"Thanks man, that means a lot."
"Everybody, listen up, I brought somebody that I want to introduce to you!!" A voice that sound like Ananias' shouted out to us from the front of the room "Now I don't want any of you to be startled. I want you to know that this man is here from the pure direction and divine experience of the the Holy Spirit. We have had one of the greatest miracles take place over the past three days, I can vouch because I have had the priviledge of being a part of it." Ananias ended his short introduction with a soft voice to a gentlemen behind him "Come on up here man, it's alright our foundation is love and forgiveness" The mans faced was clooked in a hood that draped over his shoulders and down his body creating the sillouhette of a priestly robe. After making out his attire he had my undivided attention. Given the silence that weighed heavy among the crowd in the room, apparantley, all of the earth and all of the heavens were eavesdropping for the following scene.
As he slowly unmasked his face....I was deathly silent. Some in the crowd were smiling and giving praise, others were questioning the reality of their eysight, and everyone was shocked. But I...I...I was pissed! How could this be? How could You do this? This...this...madman? This madman!? This MURDERER of all that is HOLY? A miracle!?...for this imposter of God's Priests!? This man that has ripped Your family apart?! This deciever and accuser of my brothers!? Manipulater and twister of TRUTH?!!
!!!SAUL!!!
THE MAN THAT RIPPED APART AND TORE AWAY FROM ME MY BELOVED FATHER!?
1 comment:
Gripping. Really good.
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